Elsie Hogfat

Lagom Food. Lagom Philosophy.


Chocolate, like coffee, is an intelligent and benevolent being, with a gift to offer.   Whereas coffee tastes of the exhilarated joy of reason and discovery, chocolate tastes of unconditional love.   Oh, please, now, graduates and autodidacts, don’t reach for the low hanging fruit of some foolish Freudian analysis and compare coffee to the father principle and chocolate to the mother principle, and then deduce from that an absence or compensatory behaviours!  It is just not that simple, though of course, there is some truth in that as well.

We shall discuss chocolate (and coffee) further but at present, I am in the business of issuing edicts to my splendid niece Lovely Lentilla.

Nobody should eat any kind of chocolate other than dark chocolate.

The corrupting of chocolate with sugar was a terrible dietary evil, and milk has no business getting involved either.  If you want the benefits of dairy products, have butter, cream, cheese or yogurt.  Eat full fat!  Don’t let them stick any surplus fruit muck in it either.  If you have a perfect metabolism, like myself,  a little milk will be fine, but it is not suitable for most.

Milk contains milk-sugar.  Too much.

Cream may have a little trace, butter has hardly any.  In cheese and yogurt, the milk sugar has been digested for you by nice, helpful small creatures, and you can safely eat them up too.

Even so, these friendlier dairy foods still have no business getting messed in with chocolate at the product level.  At home, you may like to add some grated dark chocolate to some cream or yogurt or marscapone and put it in an ice-cream maker.  Add some egg yolks while you’re there, perhaps a splash of brandy, vanilla, coffee and crushed almonds.  I don’t mind.  That’s fine in your own kitchen.

I encourage the consumption of chocolate.   I think a good rule  might be that a person with a good metabolism may eat chocolate of 70%.

I hope that when your broken metabolism is fixed, Lovely Lentilla, you may also eat chocolate of 70%, but for now it is not safe for you to eat it because even that small percentage of sugar will likely sap your will.

You may eat chocolate of 85%, and I hope you do.  That is why I have bought a dozen blocks of it for your pantry.


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